The F-Word

A man goes to confession, saying, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” He tells the priest he used the “F-word” over the weekend. The priest instructs him to say three Hail Marys and watch his language, but the man insists on explaining why he swore.

The man recounts playing golf on Sunday. On the first tee, he hooked his drive far into the trees. The priest asks, “And that’s when you swore?” The man, slightly annoyed, responds, “No, it wasn’t.”

He continues, saying he found his ball in a good position after a lucky bounce. Just as he was about to hit, a squirrel grabbed his ball and ran up a tree. The priest asks, “Is that when you said the ‘F-word’?” The man replies, “No, because an eagle then flew by, caught the squirrel, and flew away.”

The priest, now exasperated, queries, “Is that when you swore?” The man says, “No, because the eagle flew over the green, the dying squirrel dropped my ball, and it landed within five inches of the hole.” The priest finally exclaims, “Don’t tell me you missed the f—ing putt!”