Do you fart in bed ?

If this story doesn’t make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in……………….…..”

Don’t just keep it, share it along on Facebook!

Related Posts

Purpose of the Fourth Side of Your Cheese Grater

The unassuming cheese grater, a steadfast companion in countless kitchens, stands as a testament to simple yet profound utility. From transforming solid blocks of cheddar into generous…

2 People Who Went on Vacation and Came Back with Horror Stories

1.My friends and I rented a beautiful cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway. We were excited to disconnect from everything and enjoy some time in…

My husband insists that we share ownership of the house, even though I paid for it.

Bethany used her inheritance to buy a house, but her husband wanted to be co-owner even though he didn’t contribute any money. When she said no, he…

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt’s ‘Way Too Tight’

Karoline Leavitt Faces Fashion Criticism, Stays Confident White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt sparked online chatter after wearing a green dress with a high slit during a…

Scientists Anticipate That Global Warming Will Escalate To An Unprecedented 7°C By 2200, Resulting In Catastrophic Heatwaves, Famine, And Floods

A recent study from the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research (PIK) predicts that by 2200, even with reduced carbon emissions, Earth could warm by 7°C (12.6°F)….

2/MY PARENTS SAID SHE’S “TOO BIG” FOR ME—BUT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT TO DO

For a second, I just sat there, stunned. The words didn’t even seem real. Were they seriously reducing my entire relationship—the best, most fulfilling relationship I’d ever…